We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
