Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
