He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
