You smell like a Billy Joel song
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
