i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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