I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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