and you said cock pushups were impossible
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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