If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
