once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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