You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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