Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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