somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
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