people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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