what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
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