i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
