I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
