chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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