dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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