I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Is it because I queefed?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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