How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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