A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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