i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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