whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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