I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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