ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
