Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
