Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize