god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
