He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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