they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
