i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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