She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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