AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
