How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize