If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
