My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
