Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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