pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
