Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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