Where did you get a picture of my penis
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
