i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
