Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
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I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
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I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked