FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
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I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life