i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
