yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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