why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
