Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
