is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
