Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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