I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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