the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Enjoy the penises
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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