OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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