Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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