Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
