Umm I'm too high to move.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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