its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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