So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize