I feel like I'm in dance class right now
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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