By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
